As I was surfing the Internet, I landed into About.com and read an interesting article about hot-tempered boyfriends. This issue, I think is something that some girls are dealing with. A lady under the pen name OC was asking for help and advice from Mona Lisa on how to deal with her hot-tempered partner.
“My partner and I are in a committed relationship and have been together for almost two years. He’s always been the hot-tempered one in our relationship, while I’m the more relaxed, calm one. He’s the type of person who gets frustrated and makes a big deal about taking the wrong exit on the freeway (and blames me for not helping him read the signs) or has a short fuse when something doesn’t get done exactly the way he wants it, like fixing new curtains (”You don’t know how to fix curtains!?”). And then as soon he explodes, he calms down and starts smiling and being goofy again acting like nothing happened.”
This scenario is quite common but normal, I guess for two people in a relationship.You know, tiny quarrels and some fighting over little things. This is also the part where you will really see your partner’s inner being and discover how you would deal with it.
“I’ve generally learned how to deal with it and not to call him on it when he’s being like that. He makes a bigger deal out of it when I do. I can’t help but feel pissed and when he’s back to normal he’ll be like ‘Why are you pissed?”
“Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t happen every day and he has a lot more good qualities than not and I love him very much. I know that he loves me too. He is very sweet and he takes very good care of me, funny, thoughtful, responsible, etc. But when it does happen, watch out! “
I know what you mean. 
“We’ve talked about it several time and he absolutely hates it when I raise my voice. He says that when I raise my voice like that it shows him that I’m just putting up with him and that I don’t really accept him for who he us and that I’ll get tired of him. He also says that if that happens again, he doesn’t think he can deal with it in the long run (implying break the relationship) which basically means that I will always have the role of the sponge, taking it all in and just dealing with it.
Is it just me or is that ridiculous and immature?”
Well, for me, I think he’s being selfish. He wants you to always understand him while he does not understand how you’d feel every time he raises his voice at you; every time he scolds and blames you. You have to talk to him and tell him what you feel about the situation. Even though acceptance is necessary in a relationship, relationship is also a two-way process.
You don’t have to take the role of a sponge and take it all in.
Read about Mona Lisa’s advice to OC.
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Good article. Micah’s writing is nice and the subject is an everyday problem. Goodluck with those girls!!
Nice one mai! Hehehe…. :p