I’d like to share a few thoughts from the book “It’s Called a Break up Because it’s Broken” written by Greg Behrendt (co-author of “He’s Just Not That Into You”) and his wife Amira Ruotola-Behrendt. These are ideas extracted from some situations specified in the book. Note that I’m talking about break ups of serious relationships because people who can change partners as often as changing their clothes cannot relate to these:
Drunk yourself to sleep. Admit it guys, a lot of us turn our heads to bottles of beers, vodkas and whiskys after a break up. What the heck? We would only look miserable and wasted. You cannot have someone back by mere pity. By doing this, you’re only dragging yourself deeper to the bottom. As what Ms. Amira wrote in the book, “Even with all the mayonnaise in the world, you can’t make a chicken salad out of a chicken shit”.
Return his/her gifts personally. There are many ways to get rid of those stuff. You may either:
- Throw it away
- Burn it
- Donate reusable items to charity
If you want to imply a certain kind of message, you may have it returned via courier service but just don’t return it personally because he/she will most probably think that you just want to see him/her again.
Rebound. Some says that the best way to forget someone is to see someone else. I say it’s not. Flirting, courting or dating someone right after the break up is not only unfair to the innocent person but is also unfair to yourself. Why? Because you’re making yourself believe that you’re over someone when in fact you really don’t. Make yourself whole again first before entering another relationship. This way you can start a relationship right, a fresh new beginning and not a filler of a broken end.
Befriend your ex. Befriending your ex will not help you recover. Allow yourself to process the hurts and the pain first prior accepting the friendship, that is, if he/she is still worth it. Chances are, you’re befriending your ex hoping that one day you’ll get back together. Why will you expose yourself to a greater pain? He/she broke up with you because he/she no longer want to fix any problem in your relationship. If he/she really loves you, he/she wouldn’t dump you anyway. He/she might just be offering friendship as a consolation.
Break up really sucks, what’s important is we don’t do anything silly because of it. For sure we’ll get through it no matter how long. Remember that sometimes, we wouldn’t know the right person if you have not met a few wrong ones. As Greg Behrendt wrote “The best revenge isn’t messing up his life, it’s getting on with yours and living it to the fullest”.
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